If World War One Was A Bar Fight

If World War One was a bar Fight

• Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.
• Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg.
• Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.
• Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.
• Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.
• Russia and Serbia look at Austria.
• Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.
• Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.
• Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.
• Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?
• Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.
• Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.
• Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.
• Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.
• France and Britain punch Germany.
• Austria punches Russia.
• Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.
• Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over.
• Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there.
• Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.
• Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back.
• There are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.
• France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.
• Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway.
• Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.
• America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.
• By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

If World War Two was a bar fight

• After the last bar fight, America decides that he needs to be the bartender and the bouncer and moves behind the bar.
• Germany comes to and sees everyone drinking with his money and sees Austria sitting in the corner by himself.
• Germany, angry that Britain, France, and America took his wallet grabs Austria and makes him stand next to him.
• Germany then does the same to Czechoslovakia.
• On the other side of the room, Japan punches China. After a while, America tells them to knock it off.
• Germany signs a bar napkin telling Britain that he is done moving people over to his side of the room.
• Germany sucker punches Poland, claiming that Poland started it.
• Russia says he will help and ends up punching Poland from the other side.
• France and Britain begin swinging at Germany. Germany pushes Britain through the door and knocks him into the pool. France is also shoved through the door, but comes back in wearing a new beret and decides to hang out with Germany.
• For no apparent reason, Russia slaps Finland.
• Italy gets into a fight over the toys in the sandbox out back, gets a bloody nose and cries to Germany for help.
• Germany and Britain get into a tug of war over Italy’s sandbox.
• Britain and Germany begin throwing rocks at each others’ houses.
• Because Russia helped him with beating up Poland, Germany sucker punches Russia.
• While everybody is looking at Germany and Britain, Japan puts China into a headlock and begins punching his head.
• America tells Japan to knock it off and tells him he’s had too much to drink and he’s cut off.
• Japan jumps over the bar and punches America. And Britain. And France. And the Netherlands.
• Germany shakes his fist at America and makes a rude noise.
• America jumps into Germany’s sandbox and falls flat on his ass. Italy laughs at him.
• Because America is mad at Germany, America punches Italy.
• America, Canada, and Britain rip off France’s new beret and punch Germany.
• America, Britain and Australia gang up and start shoving Japan back into a corner on the other side of the room.
• Germany taps America on the shoulder and says, “What’s that over there in the snow?” Then he kicks America in the behind when he’s not looking.
• Everyone piles on Germany until he passes out.
• America hits Japan in the face with a baseball bat like Capone did in “The Untouchables”. Twice.
• As Japan is on his way to the floor, Russia shakes his fist at Japan, pretending that he’s joined the fight and hoping that he’ll be able to go through Japan’s wallet after the fight’s over.
• After Japan and Germany wake up, America, France, Britain, and Russia move into Germany’s House. America moves into Japan’s house, too.
• America buys drinks for Germany and Japan until everyone is happy again.

6 BOYS AND 13 HANDS PLEASE READ PLEASE WE MUST NEVER FORGET THIS!!!!!!!…

This is good.  Every American should read this one! 6 BOYS AND 13 HANDS

Even if you have never read anything completely through that I have sent to you, PLEASE read all of this.  Unfortunately, the authors name is not shared.

Each year I am hired to go to Washington , DC , with the eighth grade class from Clinton , WI where I grew up, to videotape their trip. I greatly enjoy visiting our nation’s capitol, and each year I take some special memories back with me. This fall’s trip was especially memorable.

On the last night of our trip, we stopped at the Iwo Jima memorial. This memorial is the largest bronze statue in the world and depicts one of the most famous photographs in history — that of the six brave soldiers raising the American Flag at the top of a rocky hill on the island of Iwo Jima, Japan, during WW II

Over one hundred students and chaperones piled off the buses and headed towards the memorial. I noticed a solitary figure at the base of the statue, and as I got closer he asked, ‘Where are you guys from?’

I told him that we were from Wisconsin . ‘Hey, I’m a cheese head, too! Come gather around, Cheese heads, and I will tell you a story.’

(It was James Bradley who just happened to be in Washington , DC , to speak at the memorial the following day. He was there that night to say good night to his dad, who had passed away. He was just about to leave when he saw the buses pull up. I videotaped him as he spoke to us, and received his permission to share what he said from my videotape. It is one thing to tour the incredible monuments filled with history in Washington , DC , but it is quite another to get the kind of insight we received that night.)

When all had gathered around, he reverently began to speak. (Here are his words that night.)

‘My name is James Bradley and I’m from Antigo, Wisconsin . My dad is on that statue, and I wrote a book called ‘Flags of Our Fathers’. It is the story of the six boys you see behind me.

‘Six boys raised the flag. The first guy putting the pole in the ground is Harlon Block. Harlon was an all-state football player. He enlisted in the Marine Corps with all the senior members of his football team.. They were off to play another type of game. A game called ‘War.’ But it didn’t turn out to be a game. Harlon, at the age of 21, died with his intestines in his hands. I don’t say that to gross you out, I say that because there are people who stand in front of this statue and talk about the glory of war. You guys need to know that most of the boys in Iwo Jima were 17, 18, and 19 years old – and it was so hard that the ones who did make it home never even would talk to their families about it.

(He pointed to the statue) ‘You see this next guy? That’s Rene Gagnon from New Hampshire . If you took Rene’s helmet off at the moment this photo was taken and looked in the webbing of that helmet, you would find a photograph…a photograph of his girlfriend Rene put that in there for protection because he was scared. He was 18 years old. It was just boys who won the battle of Iwo Jima . Boys. Not old men.

‘The next guy here, the third guy in this tableau, was Sergeant Mike Strank. Mike is my hero. He was the hero of all these guys. They called him the ‘old man’ because he was so old. He was already 24. When Mike would motivate his boys in training camp, he didn’t say, ‘Let’s go kill some Japanese’ or ‘Let’s die for our country’ He knew he was talking to little boys.. Instead he would say, ‘You do what I say, and I’ll get you home to your mothers.’

‘The last guy on this side of the statue is Ira Hayes, a Pima Indian from Arizona . Ira Hayes was one of them who lived to walk off Iwo Jima . He went into the White House with my dad. President Truman told him, ‘You’re a hero’ He told reporters, ‘How can I feel like a hero when 250 of my buddies hit the island with me and only 27 of us walked off alive?’

So you take your class at school, 250 of you spending a year together having fun, doing everything together. Then all 250 of you hit the beach, but only 27 of your classmates walk off alive. That was Ira Hayes. He had images of horror in his mind. Ira Hayes carried the pain home with him and eventually died dead drunk, face down, drowned in a very shallow puddle, at the age of 32 (ten years after this picture was taken).

‘The next guy, going around the statue, is Franklin Sousley from Hilltop, Kentucky . A fun-lovin’ hillbilly boy. His best friend, who is now 70, told me, ‘Yeah, you know, we took two cows up on the porch of the Hilltop General Store. Then we strung wire across the stairs so the cows couldn’t get down. Then we fed them Epsom salts. Those cows crapped all night.’ Yes, he was a fun-lovin’ hillbilly boy. Franklin died on Iwo Jima at the age of 19. When the telegram came to tell his mother that he was dead, it went to the Hilltop General Store. A barefoot boy ran that telegram up to his mother’s farm. The neighbors could hear her scream all night and into the morning. Those neighbors lived a quarter of a mile away.

‘The next guy, as we continue to go around the statue, is my dad, John Bradley, from Antigo, Wisconsin , where I was raised. My dad lived until 1994, but he would never give interviews. When Walter Cronkite’s producers or the New York Times would call, we were trained as little kids to say ‘No, I’m sorry, sir, my dad’s not here. He is in Canada fishing. No, there is no phone there, sir. No, we don’t know when he is coming back.’ My dad never fished or even went to Canada . Usually, he was sitting there right at the table eating his Campbell ‘s soup. But we had to tell the press that he was out fishing. He didn’t want to talk to the press.

‘You see, like Ira Hayes, my dad didn’t see himself as a hero. Everyone thinks these guys are heroes, ’cause they are in a photo and on a monument. My dad knew better. He was a medic. John Bradley from Wisconsin was a combat caregiver. On Iwo Jima he probably held over 200 boys as they died. And when boys died on Iwo Jima , they writhed and screamed, without any medication or help with the pain.

‘When I was a little boy, my third grade teacher told me that my dad was a hero. When I went home and told my dad that, he looked at me and said, ‘I want you always to remember that the heroes of Iwo Jima are the guys who did not come back. Did NOT come back.’

‘So that’s the story about six nice young boys.. Three died on Iwo Jima , and three came back as national heroes. Overall, 7,000 boys died on Iwo Jima in the worst battle in the history of the Marine Corps. My voice is giving out, so I will end here. Thank you for your time.’

Suddenly, the monument wasn’t just a big old piece of metal with a flag sticking out of the top. It came to life before our eyes with the heartfelt words of a son who did indeed have a father who was a hero. Maybe not a hero for the reasons most people would believe, but a hero nonetheless.

One thing I learned while on tour with my 8th grade students in DC that is not mentioned here is . . that if you look at the statue very closely and count the number of ‘hands’ raising the flag, there are 13. When the man who made the statue was asked why there were 13, he simply said the 13th hand was the hand of God.

Great story – worth your time – worth every American’s time. Please pass it on.

VA’s Main Facebook Page Surpasses 200,000 “Fans”

Milestone Marks Continued Growth, Commitment to Engagement

WASHINGTON – The primary Facebook page for the Department of Veterans Affairs has amassed more than 200,000 “fans,” increasing the department’s ability to communicate directly with Veterans across the nation.

“We started our social media program with the vision of getting the right information to the right Veteran at the right time,” said Secretary of Veterans Affairs Eric K. Shinseki. “This achievement allows us to reach a significant portion of the Veteran population, by sharing information that is important to them.”

The milestone was achieved less than three years after the creation of VA’s office of online communications, which oversees all social media programs. The office has been led by Brandon Friedman since its inception in August 2009, and was launched as part of the President’s directive that agencies should create such organizations in support of the administration’s “Open Government” plan.

“This is a notable milestone for VA,” said Mike Galloucis, VA’s executive director of public and intergovernmental affairs. “It shows we are using all available means to reach Veterans with important information related to the benefits they have earned through their service to our Nation.”

VA has over 150 Facebook pages, most of which belong to individual VA medical centers, with a combined subscribership of more than 440,000 fans. In addition to Facebook, VA maintains an extensive social media presence with 70 Twitter feeds, the VAntage Point blog, a YouTube channel with over 400 videos, and a Flickr page containing over 12,000 photos.

To access and connect to VA’s social media sites, visit VA’s social media directory:

http://www.va.gov/opa/socialmedia.asp.